Feeling Overwhelmed? - Try Skills for Instant Stress Relief
The world we live in is inherently stressful. Doesn’t it feel like something always happens to send us into a stress spiral just when we think we’ve finally finished catching up in our life, like finishing chores, completing a to-do list, or paying our bills? It can feel like a hamster who’s stuck in its wheel spinning around and around, faster and faster with no clear way to slow down or stop the chaos.
When I feel this way or feel myself more focused on my worry thoughts than on my problems, these are the skills I use to instantly feel some relief:
Tip the Temperature: Have you ever jumped into a cold pool, ocean, or shower? What happens? What’re you thinking about the moment that cold water hits you? I’m willing to bet you’re just focused on the cold water. This is part of what makes Tip the Temperature helpful. By redirecting our attention to the cold sensations, we aren’t able to focus as much on our worries. The cold water on our face also helps slow our heart rate, which makes us feel calmer.
What to do: Option 1 - Fill a bowl with cool water, hold your breath, and submerge your face in the water. Option 2 - Splash your face with cool water from a faucet. Option 3 - Take a cold shower. Option 4 - Hold ice packs (wrapped in a towel)/frozen face masks/packaged frozen foods/baggie filled with cold water against your face (temples, cheeks, forehead). Option 5 - Hold ice cubes in your hands or rub ice cubes on your face.
Whichever option you try, do the practice for at least 30 seconds and keep going until you feel some relief.
Paced Breathing: Have you noticed that when people are relaxed or asleep they take slow, deep breaths and when we’re anxious or upset we take faster, more shallow breaths? This skill helps us slow down our bodies and emotions by breathing as if we’re in a more relaxed, calm state.
What to do: Breathe out longer than you breathe in. Take deep belly breaths so that you breathe into your diaphragm, because shallow, chest breaths can make us feel more anxious. Take a minimum of 4 breaths. Feel free to breathe this way as long as it feels good.
I personally like to hold my breath before exhaling because that works better for me while some people prefer just inhaling and exhaling, so play around with the skill, like the duration of your inhale/exhale. As long as you’re exhaling for longer than you’re inhaling, you should feel the benefits of Paced Breathing.
If you’re interested in guided practice or to see how this skill can be done, one of our providers, Dr. Elise Yoshida, has made a couple of videos for practicing Paced Breathing. Here is a guided practice of breathing in for 5 and breathing out for 7 and this is a guided practice with a pause in between the inhale and exhale.
Paired Muscle Relaxation: Have you ever noticed your body holding tension or random muscles flexing when you’re stressed or caught up in worry thoughts? For me, I notice the tiny muscles around my eyes tightening up and my stomach not relaxing, which makes my breath shallow and short. So, if we bring ease and relaxation to our bodies, it can help reduce the intensity of our thoughts and emotions.
What to Do: As you breathe slowly and deeply into your stomach, tense whatever muscles/parts of your body that you choose. Then, hold your breath and the muscle tension. Notice the tension in your body. Say, “Relax” to yourself as you exhale slowly and relax all your muscles. Notice the difference in your body after you’ve released the tension before repeating the process. Try this for at least 4 breaths and repeat as many times as you find helpful.
This is a guided practice if you’d like to follow along as Dr. Elise Yoshida leads you through Paired Muscle Relaxation.
I hope you feel some relief from practicing these skills because they are absolutely some of my favorite skills to use when I’m feeling overwhelmed. While each skill is helpful for changing our body chemistry, they aren’t always as helpful as we’d like them to be in every situation. To learn what your body and emotions respond to, I'd love to encourage you to play around with the skills and practice them in different situations and iterations, like trying an ice pack and a cold shower for Tip the Temperature.
If you would like to learn more stress reduction techniques by participating in our DBT Skills Group or in individual therapy, you can connect with one of our experts in distress tolerance skills and mindfulness skills, like Dr. Andie Murray, Dr. Christopher Hawkey, and Dr. Elise Yoshida.